Tall Tales of Felony and Failure

Welcome all to the Tall Tales of Felony and Failure homepage. This twisted tale is now available for your eReader devices at Wild Child Publishing, Amazon.com, and Barnes and Noble!

After discovering his ability to control time, Cranston Staigne embarks with his cohort Tom on a drunken escapade across three continents. During their travels, the pair commit numerous crimes, evade authorities, and cheat death. It’s magnificent decadence and dereliction as they explore unlimited power and unrepentant failure.

If you do pick up this fabulous tale, be sure to also grab the extended ending, which is available as a free PDF download (Highly Recommended. Plus, it’s FREE).

Praise for Tall Tales of Felony and Failure from the Open Book Society:

Like Oscar Wilde and “The picture of Dorian Gray” before him, Warren Haustrumerda takes you on a moral journey that is in parts incredibly funny, and in others really sad – but a thouroughly satisfying read all-round.

Kyle Brodzky posted a fantastic review on his website, Brodzky Books:

Having just read Warren Haustrumerda’s debut book, Tall Tales of Felony and Failure, my mind keeps telling me to sum it up with a single phrase. A complete reversal of the “life is pretty bad sometimes, but you can sometimes find peace” stylings of Kurt Vonnegut in Slaughterhouse Five, one can corrupt an oft repeated phrase from it and capture the essence of Tall Tales perfectly: Nothing is Beautiful and Everything Hurts.

See what a few Something Awful Forums Goons are saying about Tall Tales of Felony and Failure!

“The book is a good, quick, and funny read.” – utahisnotastate
“Awesome and quick read, man. It read like a disturbed offspring of Hunter S. Thompson and Jack Kerouac.” – Drunk Tomato
“The novella Tall Tales of Felony and Failure isn’t a light read. It has a lot going for it though. The story is as black as they come. However, the writing style flows nicely and the characters develop as the story progress. I do recommend this book… make sure to read the extended ending.” – Anal Trauma
“The extra chapters really add a lot to the story. I enjoyed it quite a bit, and it really does flow quickly in a sort of dreamlike way.” – Capntastic
“Cranston Staigne is your normal American guy in the Navy. Beautiful wife, nice house, good kid. Except that he ran away from his family after a horrible tragedy, he’s an alcoholic and he’s now hallucinating from a head wound he took away from a bar fight. Tom is his sidekick that’s done his share of getting them the fuck out of trouble. Now they’re running from the law and Cranston’s bleeding skull just may give them the powers they need to loot and murder their way to the good life.
Warren’s description is far beyond most writers of today. His absurdist attitude matches the current zeitgeist in America’s careless, individualistic world view. The allusions to memories, different times and his plot kept me turning the page. I got done reading this book in two days and was hooked the entire time, wondering what would happen next.” - The_Skull_Electric
“If you’re sitting on a pile of books and Tall Tales of Felony and Failure is one of them — do yourself a favor and read it first! I promise you won’t regret doing it!!!” - Red Robin Hood
“Just finished Tall Tales of Felony and Failure. Have to say I thoroughly enjoyed it… It’s actually quite funny as I found myself laughing more times then when I read funny books from more prominent writers. If you’re looking for a short quick fun read I suggest supporting a goon and picking this up. I was pleasantly surprised! Thanks WarrenH and good luck! Be sure to let me know if you decide to make this a series!” - smarion2