Unidentified Submarine “Chased” From Venezuelan Waters

 government, submarine  No Responses »
Nov 132011
 

As reported by the Wall Street Journal:

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez gave a vague account Wednesday of the country’s military chasing off an unidentified foreign submarine allegedly caught trespassing in the South American nation’s territorial waters.

Chavez said the encounter with the mysterious vessel occurred Tuesday and “it took flight, it was chased, but escaped because it was much faster.” 

“Luckily our sailors and our people did not fall for provocation,” he said.

OK, Hugo, a few points: Continue reading »

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Fighting Pirates with Lasers!

 government  No Responses »
Jan 162011
 

It looks like BAE Systems is joining the fight against piracy using a (proposed) Neodymium Yttrium Aluminium Garnet (wtf?) laser.  That’s right, the hair removal laser is joining the fight against Somali piracy.

Despite the commonly held view – among schoolboys anyway – of pirates as a bunch of peg-legged, eye-patch wearing scurvy dogs from the 1700’s (or thereabouts), maritime piracy continues to be a serious problem – and it’s on the rise. To combat this scourge of the seas BAE Systems has developed a non-lethal laser designed to act as a deterrent against pirate attacks on commercial vessels, such as oil tankers and container ships.

We agree.  Those damned smallboat thugs tarnish the image of dashing, private enterprise submarine-based wealth acquirers and lifestealers, and deserve some lasering.

Now, if we could only integrate these lasers with advanced shark technology…

No, their [sic] not going to get some sharks and mount frickin laser beams on their heads.

Damnit.

Anyway, once BAE’s moved past the “non-lethal” spectrum with this laser-firing device, we may look to purchase an install on the PATIENCE.  I hear that, with BAE, money talks, so we should be able to overcome any pesky regulatory hurdles.

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Medicare? No Thanks, You Filthy Commy Terrorist!

 government  No Responses »
Oct 032009
 

I’ve noticed lately that many folks are fussin and fighting over proposed changes to our country’s Health Care System, including a potential FED takover that would result in murdering my GRANDPARENTS and your BABIES.  Not one to look too deeply into things, I’ll take these statements as facts and stand firmly in opposition to any proposed socialistic manipulation of the status quo.

This issue, though, has layers, like an onion (Oh, Shrek!  What a hoot – that Donkey just doesn’t understand some things!).  Peel away the flim-flammy skin of this nationalization effort and you’ll find that the commy monster is already alive and well, right under the folds of our fat bellies!  I’m speaking, of course, of MEDICARE, the first salvo in the war to make Americans stand in line for toilet paper and live in apartments where the grey paint peels faithlessly from the walls.  That salvo was fired at our freedoms forty years ago, and those goddamn hippies just lapped it up between bong hits.

Continue reading »

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