Evil Diesel Submarine Pirate Swag

Uppity Cat Lady Snipes US Navy Submariners

From an angry blog lady’s internet website:

The good news is, apparently the crew on our ship didn’t take their cue from this bunch of Yahoos on the submarine  USS Hartford, who rammed the USS New Orleans while slacking off, disappearing from their posts, and listening to iPods while “navigating” a US Submarine. [...]

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Iranian Submarines Fight Piracy

Iran has announced that it is increasing its naval forces involved in counter-piracy operations. It is sending two Ghadir-class submarines to join Iranian vessels already conducting counter-piracy operations in the Gulf of Aden.

Submarines……. FIGHTING [...]

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‘Join the Navy*’ Trailer and ‘Tube Daze: Episode 1-01′

Two new YouTube vids from the Hey, [...]

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Mock Not the Whiskey Class

I recently stumbled across this internet story posted by a salty former O-Ganger, which included (I believe – I skimmed more than actually read the article) his small contempt for certain diesel powered submersibles. To this crusty lad, I provide assurances that quality ice cream can be made out of a turd, and that the [...]

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Submariners Having Fun But Ready To Battle

These videos were filmed by the crew of one of those fancy bow planes and VLS LOS ANGELES Class ships, which I don’t trust because I like to see my forward planes from the pier.  They may or may not be a hoot to watch.  I was tickled.

The FUN:

The Battling:

Continue reading Submariners Having Fun But Ready To Battle

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Become A Dirty Kraut U-Boat Captain

I’ve just quit smoking, and the last five hours have been a little edgy, so please forgive any shortness or expletives.  That said, I’ve recently purchased Silent Hunter III (it’s been out for about four years) and am having a fantastic, while insanely frustrating, time playing it.

Fantastic, because you assume the role of a steely jawed, German speaking U-Boat skipper during WWII, wrath-handed and doom-leading.  If you captain well, your wake will fill with oil, fire, and death.

Frustrating, because my particular captaining skills apparently lack.  ‘ANGLE ON THE BOW?  WHO GIVES A SHIT?  SHOOT THE BASTARD!’  Well, sinking even huge, slow moving allied tankers, even from less than 3000 yards, isn’t that easy with unguided steam powered torpedoes if you don’t do the math and appropriately set all of your torpedo-computer-knob-things.  Or just change the game settings so all of that’s automatic (I later found out).

Overall, though, I’m having a good time with the game.  I bought it for $9.95 on Steam, but it’s also available for the same price here and here.  A fantastic mod is available as a direct downloand or torrent, and there’s also a great forum for the game.  Make sure you grab the v1.4b patch if the version you download isn’t already updated.

The game requirements state Windows XP/2000 only, but the Steam version runs fine on our Vista box, so I imagine the other download versions would, also.  YMMV.

There’s also a multiplayer option which I haven’t had a chance to try yet.  The PATIENCE‘s damn internet mast is on the fritz (get it?  Fritz!), preventing extended connectivity (I’ll be lucky to finish this post).  I’ll try to herd up some of the guys for a LAN match (after I get better at the game), though, and will report out with a full review after we’ve beaten the game into submission.

Silent Hunter IV is also available, but it’s not $9.95, so piss on it.

Finally, GODDAMN DUD TORPEDOES – BOUNCE OFF OF THEIR HULL WHEN I FINALLY SCORE A HIT, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  I THOUGHT THE GERMANS ALWAYS MAKE GOOD STUFF!

UPDATE: I cannot, with any integrity (as though there’s a lot of that laying about), provide a full review since I lack the patience to get into the full meat of the game.   Some pros/cons from my limited experience, though:

Continue reading Become A Dirty Kraut U-Boat Captain

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TALL TALES OF FELONY AND FAILURE, a small story of some little trouble

Welcome all to malum.org!  This is Warren Haustrumerda’s official home to the gentle story TALL TALES OF FELONY AND FAILURE, a cautionary tale of lost love and unrepentant generosity, ending (as always) in piracy and death.  It’s available FREE for your perusal as an Adobe Acrobat download and in eBook formats (for those of [...]

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USS HARDER WWII Patrol Report

The USS HARDER’s (SS 257) Fifth Patrol Report is online at the National Archive’s Navy Records site.  The three page report is also available right here on malum.org.

Some prime examples of the crew’s unquantifiable excellence:

Bridge lookout sighted float type plane; – close.  Made quick dive to 120 feet.  Bomb exploded as we passed 75 feet; – also close!  The sub was thoroughly shaken and the event resulted in an early and prompt reveille for all hands but no damage of a serious nature was sustained.

At 3000 yards, both destroyers zigged 30 degrees to their right… and the picture became “just what the doctor ordered” for the HARDER.  At a range of 1000 yards on the nearest target, both destroyers were overlapping, with a 100 degree port track showing.  Gyros were near zero and torpedoes set for running at 6 feet.

Sighted aircraft… flying at a height of 100 feet, coming in off our starboard quarter and almost on top of us… He whizzed by the starboard beam at a range of about 100 yards!

Submerged to 150 feet.

First aerial bomb.  Not close.

Second aerial bomb; – damned close.  Increased depth to 200 feet.

And, in case you you think these events didn’t induce a pucker factor of at least 8 on the men experiencing them, a small, understated disclaimer is included in this report:

The above listed pandemonium may not be in exact chronological order but is as accurate as the happenings over that eventful few minutes can be remembered.

I can’t believe the amount of brass these WWII submariners carried onboard.  Submarine piracy via the G.S. PATIENCE may have its small adventures, but there is no way in hell we’d face off against two destroyers.  You can bank that promise.

On August 24th, 1944, during her following patrol, the HARDER and her crew were lost outside of Dasol Bay (Philippines).

At 0828 she (Japanese Patrol Boat No. 102) commenced a lethal series of depth charge runs, each charge set to detonate at a depth greater than the last. Somewhere below, the gallant HARDER was firmly bracketed, and the fifth salvo touched off explosions that finally ended the lives and career of HARDER and her entire crew.

Hit ‘Em Again, Harder.

Continue reading USS HARDER WWII Patrol Report

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The Fringes of the Fleet – Rudyard Kipling

THE FRINGES OF THE FLEET

By Rudyard Kipling

FOURTH ARTICLE

“Tin Fish”

1914-18

The ships destroy us above
And ensnare us beneath.
We arise, we lie down, and we move
In the belly of death.

The ships have a thousand eyes
To mark where we come . . .
And the mirth of [...]

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History – Jolly Roger Use on Submarines

Admiral Sir Arthur Wilson VC, the Controller of the Royal Navy, stated in 1901 that, “Submarines are underhand, unfair and damned un-English.  The crews of all submarines captured should be treated as pirates and hanged”.

Subsequently, (from the Royal Navy Submarine Museum):

Lieutenant Commander [...]

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Royal Australian Navy Submarine, the HMAS Otama, (no longer?) for Sale on Ebay

The ultimate Christmas gift for the discerning sailor. Just log on to eBay, lodge any bid more than $4.9 million, and the 2000-tonne former Royal Australian Navy submarine, the HMAS Otama, could be yours.

Unfortunately, I can’t seem to find this listing on the Australian Ebay, so it may have been pulled or sold since this article [...]

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Submarine Pirate History – 1937

In recent months at least 25 ships of British registry have been attacked in the Mediterranean, numerous Russian ships have been sunk, French merchantmen have been fired on. Last week the British destroyer Havock was also on Mediterranean patrol, off Alicante. Shooting past her went the long white wake of a submarine [...]

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Hey, Shipwreck – midwatch

[...]

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Whiskey Class History – You Must Go Home Again

TIME Magazine, 1981:

The released Soviet sub heads for port and hard questions

The antiquated gray submarine was towed part of the way down the channel it had navigated on its own ten days before. Finally it cast off. Then, joining the flotilla of naval vessels hovering anxiously beyond the twelve-nautical-mi. limit, Soviet “Whiskey”-class [...]

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Hey, Shipwreck – YouTube series

Holy smokes, pretty good stuff.  Nubs.

The rest of the series can be [...]

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