The CAPTAIN keeps our heads straight. No one has been as terrible as HE, and HE seems to be doing mighty fine.
Captain WILL TAKER has seen horrors that we cannot imagine, and still smiles [...]
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From an angry blog lady’s internet website: The good news is, apparently the crew on our ship didn’t take their cue from this bunch of Yahoos on the submarine USS Hartford, who rammed the USS New Orleans while slacking off, disappearing from their posts, and listening to iPods while “navigating” a US Submarine. [...] The fantastic bastard who brought you the Terrible Story Tall Tales of Felony and Failure has recently opened a storefront at Spreadshirts.com! Check it out if you’d like to peruse novelties boasting fancy TRADEMARKED logos such as those shown below, and [...] Iran has announced that it is increasing its naval forces involved in counter-piracy operations. It is sending two Ghadir-class submarines to join Iranian vessels already conducting counter-piracy operations in the Gulf of Aden. Submarines……. FIGHTING [...] Two new YouTube vids from the Hey, [...] I recently stumbled across this internet story posted by a salty former O-Ganger, which included (I believe – I skimmed more than actually read the article) his small contempt for certain diesel powered submersibles. To this crusty lad, I provide assurances that quality ice cream can be made out of a turd, and that the [...] These videos were filmed by the crew of one of those fancy bow planes and VLS LOS ANGELES Class ships, which I don’t trust because I like to see my forward planes from the pier. They may or may not be a hoot to watch. I was tickled. The FUN: The Battling: Continue reading Submariners Having Fun But Ready To Battle Apparently, the public relations wing of the Somali Pirate conglomeration is producing a livejournal blog of little value and less foresight. GNA Worldwide and, specifically, the good crew of the G.S. Patience stomached and ignored such pretension and comeuppance as inevitable in these unbridled internet days. Unfortunately for these vagabonds, though, injury was added to insult in recent posts mocking the late, great Bea Arthur. Included are such ham-fisted vulgarities as:
And:
Continue reading Somali Pirates Mock Bea Arthur I’ve just quit smoking, and the last five hours have been a little edgy, so please forgive any shortness or expletives. That said, I’ve recently purchased Silent Hunter III (it’s been out for about four years) and am having a fantastic, while insanely frustrating, time playing it. Fantastic, because you assume the role of a steely jawed, German speaking U-Boat skipper during WWII, wrath-handed and doom-leading. If you captain well, your wake will fill with oil, fire, and death. Frustrating, because my particular captaining skills apparently lack. ‘ANGLE ON THE BOW? WHO GIVES A SHIT? SHOOT THE BASTARD!’ Well, sinking even huge, slow moving allied tankers, even from less than 3000 yards, isn’t that easy with unguided steam powered torpedoes if you don’t do the math and appropriately set all of your torpedo-computer-knob-things. Or just change the game settings so all of that’s automatic (I later found out). Overall, though, I’m having a good time with the game. I bought it for $9.95 on Steam, but it’s also available for the same price here and here. A fantastic mod is available as a direct downloand or torrent, and there’s also a great forum for the game. Make sure you grab the v1.4b patch if the version you download isn’t already updated. The game requirements state Windows XP/2000 only, but the Steam version runs fine on our Vista box, so I imagine the other download versions would, also. YMMV. There’s also a multiplayer option which I haven’t had a chance to try yet. The PATIENCE‘s damn internet mast is on the fritz (get it? Fritz!), preventing extended connectivity (I’ll be lucky to finish this post). I’ll try to herd up some of the guys for a LAN match (after I get better at the game), though, and will report out with a full review after we’ve beaten the game into submission. Silent Hunter IV is also available, but it’s not $9.95, so piss on it. Finally, GODDAMN DUD TORPEDOES – BOUNCE OFF OF THEIR HULL WHEN I FINALLY SCORE A HIT, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I THOUGHT THE GERMANS ALWAYS MAKE GOOD STUFF! UPDATE: I cannot, with any integrity (as though there’s a lot of that laying about), provide a full review since I lack the patience to get into the full meat of the game. Some pros/cons from my limited experience, though: Continue reading Become A Dirty Kraut U-Boat Captain U.S. to yield marijuana jurisdiction to states U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder is sending strong signals that President Obama – who as a candidate said states should be allowed to make their own rules on medical marijuana – will end raids on pot dispensaries in California. “I think it definitely signals that Obama is moving in [...] Welcome all to malum.org! This is Warren Haustrumerda’s official home to the gentle story TALL TALES OF FELONY AND FAILURE, a cautionary tale of lost love and unrepentant generosity, ending (as always) in piracy and death. It’s available FREE for your perusal as an Adobe Acrobat download and in eBook formats (for those of [...] The USS HARDER’s (SS 257) Fifth Patrol Report is online at the National Archive’s Navy Records site. The three page report is also available right here on malum.org. Some prime examples of the crew’s unquantifiable excellence:
And, in case you you think these events didn’t induce a pucker factor of at least 8 on the men experiencing them, a small, understated disclaimer is included in this report:
I can’t believe the amount of brass these WWII submariners carried onboard. Submarine piracy via the G.S. PATIENCE may have its small adventures, but there is no way in hell we’d face off against two destroyers. You can bank that promise. On August 24th, 1944, during her following patrol, the HARDER and her crew were lost outside of Dasol Bay (Philippines).
Continue reading USS HARDER WWII Patrol Report THE FRINGES OF THE FLEET By Rudyard Kipling FOURTH ARTICLE “Tin Fish” 1914-18 The ships destroy us above The ships have a thousand eyes Admiral Sir Arthur Wilson VC, the Controller of the Royal Navy, stated in 1901 that, “Submarines are underhand, unfair and damned un-English. The crews of all submarines captured should be treated as pirates and hanged”. Subsequently, (from the Royal Navy Submarine Museum): Lieutenant Commander [...] The ultimate Christmas gift for the discerning sailor. Just log on to eBay, lodge any bid more than $4.9 million, and the 2000-tonne former Royal Australian Navy submarine, the HMAS Otama, could be yours. Unfortunately, I can’t seem to find this listing on the Australian Ebay, so it may have been pulled or sold since this article [...] In recent months at least 25 ships of British registry have been attacked in the Mediterranean, numerous Russian ships have been sunk, French merchantmen have been fired on. Last week the British destroyer Havock was also on Mediterranean patrol, off Alicante. Shooting past her went the long white wake of a submarine [...] TIME Magazine, 1981: The released Soviet sub heads for port and hard questions The antiquated gray submarine was towed part of the way down the channel it had navigated on its own ten days before. Finally it cast off. Then, joining the flotilla of naval vessels hovering anxiously beyond the twelve-nautical-mi. limit, Soviet “Whiskey”-class [...] Holy smokes, pretty good stuff. Nubs. The rest of the series can be [...] |
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